OMG!

So, I went to bed last night kinda early because Lost was a re-run. I read for a bit, and fell asleep, cozy with my kitties. (I'm reading Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.)....more about that later.

Anyway, I woke up about 2 am all sweaty and hot, thinking I broke a fever (since I've been battling strep throat and a sinus infection lately). I got up, looked at a few things on the computer, since I knew I wasn't going to work today, and tried to dry off. It was still hot! I didn't know what was going on... I thought maybe I'd bumped the baseboard heater knob and turned the heat on. I looked at my trusty indoor thermometer to find that it was 78 f'ing degrees in here! Then I notice heat pouring though the doorway and walked into the kitchen. Well, the baseboard heat wasn't on, the front, left eye on the stove was on high! Holy Moly! How the hell did that get turned on?????? Oh My God! Am I trying to burn my entire apartment building down? How long has it been on?

After turning the eye off and making sure there was no danger of fire around, and recovering from the shock and scare, I developed a few theories for how this happened.

1. The cat turned the stove on. Uhhh... yeah, you think I'm crazy now? Lester is a trouble maker who knows how to open cabinets, climb to the tip-top of anything in sight, soften his food in his water bowl, get his greens from my houseplants, and make a game of the disciplinary water spray bottle. Yeah, he's totally capable of turning the stove on, even though it's child proof, Lester could do it. Don't get me wrong, I totally love my cat.

2. When cooking dinner or changing the kitty water last evening, I bumped the knob and turned it to its "high" notch without knowing it. I didn't notice the heat pouring out of the eye and went to bed to cozy up and get some healing sleep.

3. I turned the stove on in my sleep. Okay, I have been known to walk and talk in my sleep, but as far as I know I haven't sleep-walked since I was a child. I don't think I've ever tried to cook in my sleep. However, the doctor started me on antibiotics and Mucinex DM yesterday and I took my first dose before bed. Mom says she's allergic to all the "cillins", so I could have had a psychological side effect (I guess??) to the antibiotic. On the other hand, the Mucinex has "dextromethorphan" in it, and that could make me crazy, or crazier. I think it's a form of methamphetamine. Since I know that Sudafed (Little Red Screamers) and Nyquil and stuff like that makes me a little whacko, this theory is entirely possible.

I have no idea how this happened still. I've been pondering it all day, and have come up with arguments for and against each theory, and have not come to a conclusion. Argh! I hope this is a one time thing and I'm not really as dangerous as I think I am. Thank goodness I have renters insurance. Yikes!

Okay, subject change, I've obsessed about this all day... I think I'm done now.

The book I'm reading, Women Who Run with the Wolves, is fantastic. I recommend it for all women. It covers all kinds of issues: body image, belonging, gender and cultural roles of women, creativity, the "soul home", addiction, self-talk, loss, injury, joy, boundaries, rage and forgiveness, sexuality; to name a few. The author explores all these issues through story-telling. She's gathered stories from all over the world, all different cultures, and approaches them from a Jungian-based theory. I love the symbolism that she explores and the way she relates it to womanhood and life in general.

A couple of weeks ago, I read E the story of the Ugly Duckling. I remember hearing this story as a child, but never thought about the symbolism in it. The Ugly Duckling spends the first days or weeks of his life searching for a place to belong. Not only is he feeling like an outsider, he's got all kinds of body-image issues, and he keeps trying to solve the problem of not having a home in a destructive and "wandering" way. He goes through the process of growing and learning with bad choices that put him in danger and further the feelings of self-doubt until he finally ends up in a pond with a couple of large birds that recognize him as "their kind" before he even knows. This story really spoke to me, as have many of the stories in the book. I guess I was somewhat familiar with this story and could put aside following and learning the story to explore symbolic meanings.

I learned about this book from my friend and mentor, C. She talked about it all the time, encouraging me to read it, until I bought it on eBay. She says she read it years ago, and has recently revisted the stories and, since she's at a different place in her life, she's getting something totally different from it. I guess this is pretty typical of most books that you come back to, but it I guess I'm trying to emphasize the value of this book. It's a book that I'll hold onto forever (unless I burn my apartment down), and come revisit it often for guidance, learning, growth, and a wholesome story.